Lunch with mom

Today I got to take mom out for lunch at this quaint and cozy restaurant.  There are so many memories from this place since I once worked there.  My mother would come in to eat all the time.  They serve the most delicious potato soup with chicken salad sandwiches.  There are antiques upstairs and throughout the downstairs with delightful music playing in the background.   I arrived at her house and she was quite the bitter person.  She started with her hair "I should have washed it, it looks bad, I should not listen to you, you don't know anything, look at my hair it looks like sh**, you are messing it up.  Oh it looks nice.  Then her -teeth "I should not have had them done, they hurt so much (fillings- my mother is convinced that they drilled holes in her teeth and there are multiple cavities), you and dad did it on purpose, how do I stop my teeth from hurting. She tries to gather her items trying to remember what she needs.  She has forgotten everything she accomplished five minutes ago and rechecks again and again.  She decides she wants to wear a ring and goes to her jewelery box.  I actually got slightly sad to watch her.  She grabs a ring and cannot figure out how to put the ring on her finger.  She figures it out eventually but does not like the way it fits her.  She tries another and cannot figure that one either. She settles on one and gets it one.  Then to the car.  I forgot that her key does not work and I tried to start it.  Realizing it too late, I wonder how to get a key for the car.  I decide to put her in my car hoping she will not notice the new headliner smell.  No such luck-Your car smells like pee.  There is pee everywhere, we are cursed, I want to go back, I never should have done this.  I call Dad and he (the smart man that he is) tells me the key is in a location that I can access and I tell mom that I know how to start the car. I tell her that I did not push it completely into P.  So now I hear "how come you did not know that, your dad did it on purpose.  I start the car and off we go.  As soon as we enter the restaurant, my mother comes alive.  I have noticed that she is very well behaved if there are Christians and if they are pretty.  Just so happens that the owner and waitress are sisters and they are gorgeous.  They also are Christians.  Although she is completely confused and dazed, she is very happy and content.  I watch her throughout the entire meal and realize how far she has slipped.  Before the risperdol, she at least had some emotions and was able to function.  On this medicine, she is mellow and manageable, but cannot do the simplest tasks.  She had to use mouth wash last night and could not figure out how to put the rinse in her mouth.  Like my dad said, it is like watching a zombie-she is almost emotionless.  The only time emotion is emitted is when she is scared or confused. 
The rest of the meal when well-she ate like a pig and started to reminisce about the early years.  After the meal, we headed home and she was absolutely fantastic.  She did mention how things have changed with my daughter and she can no longer play with her the way she did.  It broke my heart! 
Jason and I started a blog for our non-profit at http://www.worksinfaithinc.blogspot.com/ if you get a chance to look at it or feel free to follow our progress!!!