Tuesday, September 21

Road trip to South Dakota

So on Friday, I embarked on a trip across the US to deliver some furniture, items, and motorcycle to two different people in two different states.  While it seemed daunting to drive this big truck, it soon became a fantastic adventure since my very dear and long time childhood friend agreed to travel with me.  I was shocked when she said that she would love to go-seriously who wants to drive many miles across cornfields to hop right back home without getting to sight see or anything.  Apparently she did and for that I was blessed. So truck is packed and I pull out around 8:30.  I cruise past Gainesville and past north Florida and cross the border to Georgia.  At this time, I notice that my phone is about to die despite the fact that I have it charging.  I soon realize that the fuse must be blown.  I pull into a truck stop and get out the manual.  After finding the first box under the chair, I quickly realize that it is the right box.  I locate the second one under the hood and look at all the hot pipes and coils that I must stick my hand between in order to remove the cover.  As I am pondering what to do, I realize that the truck stop I am at has a full service station.  Here I go past all the truckers with their big rigs and tell the woman my problem. Never have I felt so much like a little woman in all my life.  Engines are being rebuild, tires shredded and repairs, and here is me "um excuse me, is it possible to get my fuse changed".  So not like me, but considering it is a rental and I really do not feel like getting burned, I let them do it.  After 45 minutes of getting approval, the tech finishes in 5.  I am on my way again.  I pull into Atlanta to stay the night with Jenn.  We catch up on good times, share some good laughs, and call it a night.  Awake at 6:30 and we are off.  Our final destination:  Jefferson City Missouri.

 We travel through crazy weather, miles of corn fields, and some great eateries.  Throughout it all, we are chatter boxes-talking about everything under the sun. I must say that she makes the best travel companion I have ever had.  She anticipates my every need , from holding out her hand for my discarded cough drop wrapper to giving me handfuls of food. 
She navigates like a champ-with a steady calm voice saying "turn left here.  Turn left now. Um the turn is about to go-turn now. So calm-actually so calm I do not realize the urgency as I whip this 16 foot truck through the lanes to get off.  Most importantly, she is a rock that I can lean on and someone that has so much I can learn.  Thank you Jenn for all of it.  I had a blast. 
So we make it to Jefferson City at 8:30 and hit the bed early (well for me early was 11:30).  Up at 6:45 and we continue on driving until we make it to Omaha Ne.  She makes her flight back home and I travel to see another friend.  We unload the motorcycle and other items and visit for a few hours.  I still have a few more hours to travel that night so I leave at 8.  I post something about all the corn I will be traveling through and my husband texts "Don't break down out there and watch out for those children"  Not the greatest image I want in my head, but thankfully I never saw the entire movie.  I make it to Mitchell South Dakota and crash at 3 in the morning. 
My last leg of the trip:  awaken at 7:30 travel to Pierre South Dakota to unload, got taken to lunch and spent time with another friend.  On the plane at 4:00 and land in Orlando at 11:00.  Finally, 1 1/2 hours in the car and I arrive home.  I am hungry, tired, and very cranky but I manage to get 5 hours of sleep.  I am going to bed now and get some rest since I did not today (Connor had blood drawn at 8:30 Doctors at 1:45) 
Throughout all this, I would call my mother to tell her I missed her.  It broke my heart that I could not tell her what I was doing or where I was.  I reminisce of a time when I could share all the crazy details with her.  Instead, I let her believe that I am very sick and not able to visit.  She is not doing well-her recall of words is most notable-she tries though and does not want to give in to it.  Everything is a color or that thing and she cannot give clues to what it is she is trying to tell you.  The other night she wanted to tell me she was having a charley horse.  Her description was similar to this:  Those on the floor that you have.  They help you with stuff they help you ummm wait they help stand. me:  your feet.  Her:  yes those I hurt.  They hurt.  You know you had it its a ummm.  I know its a um. ****** that thing on the feet thing. On never mind and then some yelling and crying.  I cannot imagine what it must be like.

Friday, September 17

Very quick blog today

Sorry I have been absent for a bit. Things have been slightly busy with all sorts of craziness.  I am traveling to South Dakota to help a client out and will have a bit more time tomorrow to post the ongoings in my crazy yet blessed life.  Please say prayers for safe travel for me and peace for my mother.  She is having a much greater time recalling words and it is quite saddening to see. 

Monday, September 6

Memory loss

I have had a relatively calm week but for some reason I am tired.  I think it is all the crossFit training I have been too :).  A summary of last weeks activities:  Mackenzie is feeling better about school and has made a new friend; Connor has found a new freedom in being alone with Mom.  While he misses his sister and occasionally calls out for her, he is enjoying the peace and quiet. 
We ran around alot last week with one of clients that has become like a second great grandmother.  We will now call her Grandma Fischer and she is part of our crazy world.  She had a birthday and we went down to celebrate with her.  Tomorrow I have to go and drive her car around so Connor and I will visit with her for a bit.  She just turned 87 and despite being in great pain, she is very independent.  As our relationship builds, we realize she needs more than just a phone call.  We try to visit once or twice a week as there is no one else for her. 
I also helped our neighbor find a car.  This poor girl had to drop out last semester since she could not find a ride to college.  After letting a friend drive her car, it ended up in a canal.  She had four different people working on it for the past year.  We finally got our mechanic to look at it free of labor charge.  He told us that unfortunately, the car was missing multiple pieces and there is no way to figure out what the others did.  It would cost more buying the pieces and hoping the car would work than it was worth.  She and her family had been without a car for almost a year.  I could not stand the thought of her missing school again.  However, picking her up every day was becoming a slight inconvenience.  We were able to finally get her a car on Friday.  This has freed me up immensely.   
I also had a doctor's appointment with my obgyn.  While I am sure it is nothing, please keep me in your prayers.  I have some suspicious tissue in both breast -some lumps and other things.  I go for my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound later in the week so I will keep you posted.
Now on to my mother:  Because of the crazy activity of this past week, I have not kept up with things regarding my mother as I usually do.  Kevin has taken on the brunt of my tasks with her and for that I am eternally grateful.  I am able to devote my time to my children and husband rather than more to my mother.  I noticed such a decrease in phone calls:  in fact, often throughout the day I find myself staring at the phone feeling alittle lost.  My children had become so used to the phone that they are surprisingly independent and seem to await another phone call.  My brother has given me back some of my life and I cannot repay him-although my dad may be able to.  My brother is a proud owner of an amazing car which he deserves -a 2003 Saturn fully loaded with less than 25 k miles on it. I need to take a picture of him in his new ride since he looks so dashingly handsome in it. I really need to add Kevin to this so he can express his experiences with my mother, but I fear this is more my cup of tea than his.  But I digress... I cannot recall all that happened so I will just explain movie night which was way more bizarre than others.  She decide she wanted me to dye her hair.  It had been such a long time since we had to do this and I had been hopeful that we would never have to do it again. Well she decided not only to do it, but to get an entirely different brand.  A brand that I remember as causing her to freak out because of the smell.  I tried to explain to her that she hated this one and it would be strong smelling. She didnot care because she liked the color.  She already was more confused than usual, with repetitive sayings.  She broke in and out of tears because she couldnot find her second pair of new pajama's.  I get her ready for the hair dye and she wants to do it in her bathroom.  Again not a good idea because of the smell.  She does well the first ten minutes and then it started to burn.  She wanted it out and started to cry.  Then as quickly as it started, she was fine and ready to wait again.  we get through the twenty five minutes and I start the shower.  She has trouble getting in and I remind myself to tell Dad we need handicap bars in the front and side now.  She sits and I am able to rinse her hair in the back.  As I get to the front, she goes ballistic.  She started to shake her arms and hands screaming at me telling me I am no good, I am evil.  Get this sh** out of my hair.  Her words became less and less and it turned into just screaming. Since she no longer could hear me or figure out what to do, I put both shower nozzles directly onto her hair and rinsed it as fast I could.  I hated doing this because it scared her but she had dye running down her face.  I get her hair rinsed and add conditioner.  She had calmed down once I wiped away all the water and helped her relocate.  she saw the conditioner and started screaming again because it was the wrong one.  I rinse it out quickly and end the shower.  She is shaking, crying, screaming, and unable to comprehend anything I say or do.  She would not get out of the shower, she kept pulling off the towel.   I found a way to distract her by some comment I said and then like nothing happened out she came.  Her memory is definitely being affected now..she is forgetting events, conversations, and information.  It is a welcomed blessing because we are able to distract her much faster than previously.  Another weird thing is that she has some sense of humor coming back.  On movie night, my dad was watching super humans on history.  He was telling us about some of them.  One man my dad began to explain, was able to run.  Well that was as far as he got before my mom lost it.  For some reason it struck her as funny-like wow what a super human feat that  he can run.  Dad started to explain the amazing part of this mans ability to run super fast, but realized that mom was having such a kick out of it that we all joined in. The sound of laughter is such a rarity so it was quite enjoyable.  Kevin told me today that she started cracking up during Charmed.  She said I wish there was a way to speed this up so we can get to the good ones.  So Kevin says there is and puts it on double speed where the people move very fast and talk high.  She lost it again.I love hearing her laughter-she has such a great laugh when it is the real one from my childhood.