Thursday, May 6

Tomorrow is the day if she will go.....

So yesterday was our follow up with the Dr. and I must say what a wonderful office. The staff and Dr are so patient and understanding. Before the visit, for about 45 minutes, my mother was on a roll. I used my hubby's MP3 Player to bring it to you live. The first one she is yelling at God and the second one she is yelling at me. She had to spit and after spitting on the van, I mentioned that it was not sanitary to do that with my little ones in the car. She wanted me to stop in the middle of traffic since she had opened the door of the van so that she could spit out of the van. Trying to keep her from getting out was the worry going through my head. Luckily, we made it to the stop light and it was red. The day was absolutely discombobulating. -Revisision-cannot get them to upload and will add them later.
My brother can over to watch the kids at 2:15. I helped get my mom ready for her 3:00 apt. We made it there five minutes late (do not want to describe the pandemonium of her getting read,but I will say that she is now minus eyebrows...)She calms down while we are waiting and there was the most wonderful lady there that talked with my mother the entire time. What an angel. I really wish I had gotten her name so I could do something for her. She really talked to her and listened to her. Wow. We made it back in the room around 4:40 and I am starting to get a little nervous because my daughter has swim at 5:15. My mom decides that it would be ok for my dad to come and take her home so that Kevin can go get ready for his night with her. When he shows up, she gets upset because she thought I would stay and then she would leave with my dad. I end up exchanging keys with my dad and telling him in the quickest way possible how to get two kids ready for swimming. hahahah poor dad. He called me on the way there and I hear my daughter screaming hysterically because she does not want to go under the water. Ah well. Back to the office. My mom is basically alright but does need an MRI due to something on the mammogram. Whether or not we do it we shall see. After the visit, my mother becomes hysterical again and I have to leave her at her house as she is throwing her purse against the wall, knocking over the globe, and pushing stuff off of her dinning room table. I call my brother and tell him to get up there as fast as humanely possible. The night ended well-Thank you dear brother.
Today my dad had to bring her to the dentist to fit her teeth again. His day was not well I am sure for he had the same conversations I had yesterday (refer back to the audio if you need to). Right now I am about to head up there to convince her to go tomorrow. Yes, that's right, as it stands she is not going to her hearing tomorrow. Hmmmm send me your prayers.
On a totally separate issue and please forgive me if it comes off wrong. Originally when I started this blog, it was for a variety of reasons. I often felt astonished at what we were going through and searched to hear others going through what we did. My blog was for those searching as well. It also was for me to vent, to view and assess my mother's behaviors, to document for whatever purpose. The one thing I did not intend, which has become the issue, is for sympathy. Don't get me wrong, I love the prayers and encouragement, but I feel so uncomfortable when people praise me. I do what I have to do because there is no other way. I am no special person-just letting the Lord through me in my life and situations. I am know realizing that although there are only a few followers, there are many people reading this. I call a friend and she tells me my ears must be ringing because my name was discussed. I bump into three different people and they know what is going on in my life without me actually telling them. It was quite surreal to realize that. On one hand it is great-I no longer need to explain what is happening with my mother, but the down side is that everyone feels so bad for me. Yes my life is crazy, yes I do a lot, but overall, I am a very grateful person. I have a husband that supports me and my family. That despite this craziness,is still willing to help everyone that comes knocking on our door. I have the very best friend a girl could ask for that lets me bounce off everything on it. I have a profound relationship with my brother-walking this journey step by step together. I have a father that is committed to helping his wife even though she cuts him down with every word that comes out of her mouth. I am blessed to say I can go through this with her-some are taken before we can say goodbye-I get to say goodbye. And finally, I am shown on a daily basis that The Lord is present and alive-and in control. I am strong because of Him. Please continue to pray for this crazy family, but do not feel bad for us. We are blessed. Thank you all for everything you do and I will keep you posted on the decision tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

I know how you feel about the people who praise you for doing what you need to do. I'm feeling some of that too in my own situation.

It is hard to accept that other people are seeing your situation clearly and are amazed.

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