Friday, June 25

a week of surprises

I notice that I am blogging less and less. I wonder if it is because of the hectic life or just staying away from my computer? Or maybe the outside chaos that my thoughts and feelings arouse. It seems that no matter how many disclaimers I put or how many times I mention it, people are overly concerned for my well being. What is funny is that there is no need to concern yourself with how I am. I cannot say it simpler, this blog is just a way to express all the craziness that makes my life my life. The one thing that drives me crazy is drama since we are exposed to it everyday with my mother. To think that the stuff I write has created some of its own drama is more bothersome than some of the things that ensues my life. If I say or do something that bothers someone, I apologize now and hope you understand that I am expressing things as I see them. Ok so now, onto the life of me.

I have had a great yet busy week. I decided to surprise my husband for father's day with a trip to atlanta. The kicker is he was not to go. This way, he would get an entire weekend (four days, three nights) free from the craziness of my family, the children, and yes as much as I hate to admit, me. I in turn was getting a great hotel stay at a beautiful place with more room than I ever hoped for. I packed up and drove my two little ones and myself to hotlanta. The kids were amazing and did so well. We made it in record time and i was able to make it there by myself. At one point, my children were so sweet, they were actually holding hands. I was able to spend time with friends during the entire weekend, swim in the pool, watch a lazer show, and just enjoy myself as much as you can with two little ones in tow. After two days, my little ones started to act quite the opposite of how they usually are. Particularly my girl. She decided to become quite sassy and disrespectful. And of course, my son, who hates anything but his home, began to show himself. I usually do not complain about my two hcildren because they are not the cause of stress. They usually are such great sports and I find it fun to raise them. However, this weekend proved rather difficult. I realized that in my aims to please others, I bypassed some schedules, rules, and the way I usually deal with my children. This combo definetly was not a good mix and I suffered from it. Back at home, the children were slighltly better. I am realizing taht I can no longer go to my mother's with both of them. I also realize that many of the things my mother says, my daughter is now doing and saying. She will throw a tantrum like her and say almost the exact words. Today, my daughter told me she wished I was dead. I was bothered until I realized that my mother just said this very thing to me about a week ago in front of Kenzie. This one comment made me reflect on my daughter and sons behaviors and it saddened me to thnk my mother has a direct affect on them in this area. I will return tomorrow for my son (who is ill) is now crying for me. Night!


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