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Monday, June 14

Happy Birthday to Us

Ah and people wonder why I am not a fan of my birthday let alone holidays. Well my 34th day started with my little girl being sick. I talked to my father and all seemed well. Somehow, mom woke up and actually wanted breakfast. Dad started cooking and it all broke lose. Something about a blanket?? She wanted a blanket but not the one that was her dogs and my dad knew and did it on purpose and then she did not want it but he wanted it and she was like aahhhhhhhhh. Anyway, for the first time ever, I truly had no idea what she was saying. It is getting harder and harder to decipher her rambles. Well she kicked dad out of the house and I got the first of 28 phone calls from my mother. She was in hysterics (I use that word often but really only when she is in hysterics). I tried to hold my tongue in deference to my mother but it was not long before I made her upset by saying nothing. I hear her slamming things in the background, yelling that no one is there for her, no one makes her any food or stays with her for her birthday. I am surprised since all of us have offered to spend the entire day. I offered to take her shopping (yikes) and to lunch. She was too tired. Dad offered to stay but he is too evil. Kevin offered and again too tired. So many people believe her behavior is so aberrant from typical Alzheimer's. I am surprised by this because so many of those with loved ones in various stages of Alzheimer's express similar concerns. I truly believe in the left/right side of Alzheimer's. In a police report, they mention that those with left side damage tend to exhibit much more volatile reactions

"Contrary to what most people believe, there are actually two types of Alz. victims and each has their own way of dealing with stressful situations. Those who develop Alz on the left side of the brain tend to be more aggressive in nature, while those whose right side is affected, are much more passive. Now mind, for the most part, these "features" are undetectable until they are forced to deal with a difficult situation. Then the features arise.
By far, the most difficult to deal with are those whose left brain is involved. I'm not referring so much to their combative nature, as I am to the way they deal with trying circumstances. You see, these individuals have a very profound mistrust of everyone. And their suspiciousness and paranoia leads them to believe they are never safe...They will actively avoid anyone they believe is looking for them by hiding in the backseats of cars, in garages, and behind bushes. When confronted they are usually belligerent, aggressive, and combative (www.zarcrom.com/users/alzheimers/cmo2a.html).

So Mom is reacting crazy talking about staying in her closet forever and not eating or seeing anyone. She tells me she will not take any more of her mediation and hangs up. She calls back saying I would have left her in the closet until she died and I mention that Dad is on his way back. I am on the phone with Dad as he shows up to be the little voice in his head. We often do this since he has blue tooth and I can keep him laughing as she calls him an evil man a horrible husband who will burn in hell. I tease about her being a horrible Alzheimer's patient (yes I admit sometimes we poke fun at her behind her back but at least it helps relieve the tension). We have long removed all knives from the house, but somehow she has found the very last knife in her hand. She is not threatening to do anything with it-just holding it like a security blanket. Finally she puts it down and lets my make her breakfast. And at last she takes her risperadone. We have tried for a week to tell Mom that this new drug will help her with the Alzheimer's. Thankfully the information that came with it is not too detailed and I was able to alter it in case she has a good day and recognizes what it says. She believes it is a new drug to help with Alzheimer's and while it is not 100% true, it will help her think clearer and give her less of an edge hopefully. After an hour, it does the trick and she is much more mellow. I am not a believer in medications and hate using them to drug someone up. Risperadone is a great alternative to many other options, such as backeracting, mental hospital, or worse. She has become so combative, angry, and confused that we no longer have an option. Hearing my mother run around the neighborhood with a knife in her hand is not optimal but neither is the thought of placing her away. She can be so with it that right now is not the time. I hope it will never come to abandoning my mother and with the three of us tag teaming, hopefully we can do it. I will keep you posted on how she does with Risperadon. Ironically, the pill is supposed to make you tired but it keeps her awake. at least she does not feel really sick on it which is surprising since she is sensitive to every pill. What to do with the next half of my birthday? Lay sod and go to boot camp. Many happy returns of the day!!!

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