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Tuesday, February 8

been a long time

I just found my video editing software and so providing more video footage will soon follow. BTW-this is the famous plate from my youth that I now use almost daily :)
  I am so tired and have been running around since my father's birthday.  I have become so involved with our teen girls that I have had no time to do much of anything. With tax season, I spent the remainder of January sending out our tax letters to those that donated, getting WIF finished with the taxes, and finally did our taxes.  Jason has been working so much that it is taking some getting used to-He wakes up now at 6 (tomorrow is going to be very tiring for me :) and works often until 5 or 6 in the evening.  I am truly a house wife now.  Unfortunately, I am doing so much for WIF that I spend the days running to take someone somewhere.  I watch children for those teen mothers that are looking for a job, I hunt for furniture for the family whose children are sleeping on the floor.  I take my teen girls to programs, doctors, stores, getting them the resources that they need.  I told Jason I am taking a week hiatus to relax because I am tired.  For instance this past weekend: Thursday I took one of our pregnant teens boyfriend, another young man, and my children to help a church with setting up for a yard sale, that night I met with Reaching hands to discuss our working together.  I was there until 11:30.  Friday was Jason's birthday.  I watched a family with three children during the morning since the mother is pregnant with the fourth and needed to get some things ready.  After that, two of my teens came by to talk.  That after noon, I went to visit Grandma Fischer and then dropped off my two children at my friends house so that Jason and I could have some time alone for the first time in a while.  We went out to dinner and enjoyed a night out.  I drove back to pick the children up at 10 and they were still awake.  My friend made the mistake of putting on a movie (which my children will not sleep to-too conditioned to sleeping in bed with no tv) I had a birthday party the next day that I threw for this 7 year old because she had been through some rough times. 

I finished decorating at 1 and connor woke up at 2-5.  Kenzie woke up at 7:30 and we finished decorating.  The party went until 2:30 and then my teens boyfriends came over. The cake to the rihgt was amazing and donated by http://www.cakeceracera.com/.   I headed up to my mothers, stayed there until 12. Mom freaked on me (pulled my hair, scratched my arm, and hit me) and finally calmed down.  I got home and had to go to the hospital because one of my teens had contractions.  I was there until four in the morning .  That is how it has been since i last wrote my blog.  For those of you that do not know, Works in Faith has ventured into a program that we dubbed Teens N Tots or T-N-T for short. I mentor teens that are pregnant or have just had a child to help them with their spiritual walk, mental well being, educational help, etc.  our goal is to help them become independent of society not to enable them to live off of others.  We have 8 girls about to start with us-currently five are enrolled.  They range in ages from 12 to twenty.  We have outfitted four households with cribs, linens, clothing, pumps, bottles,  and virtually any other item that they need.  Starting in March we will have mentors that work one on one with each girl. Very exciting but very time consuming for now.  Keep us in your prayers
ok enough about my schedule-just had to vent because I am slightly tired from the running.  I do realize that I need to probably slow down-I can hear you all now saying that I am going to burn out and get sick. My entire life has worked like this.  I produce much better when I have no time to think.  I am hoping though to take a quick winter reprieve to do some skiing (possibility presented itself today).

So back to Saturday night with my mother.   Guys things with Mom is definitely changing.  She is still aware of her shortcomings and inabilities to do stuff.  However, she is becoming much more glassy eyed and confused.  She cannot turn on water anymore, has a hard time sipping from the cup or taking her pills.  She does not understand how to choose movies anymore, and is now in depend dainties.  For the past three weeks I have mentioned that a woman my mother admires very much wears depends.  Although it is not true, it made my mother feel better.  She finally tried it on Sunday.  Saturday night after watching movies, I decided to take control.  I was tired of feeling bad for my father for being awoken every night by mom to change the movie or take her to pee.  I kept thinking to myself that we are letting a woman with alz. control the situation and that made me laugh.  How inthe world are we going to take care of her if we do not gain control of her and her life.  Saturday night I told her that she no longer could stay up at night.  I told her that if we are her care takers then we make the decisions.  That we cannot help her at night and she can no longer do things on her own.  She agreed that she needed our help but did not see the problem with waking Dad up or calling me at 4 in the morning.  I told her that we cannot keep calm and happy if we are tired.  I tried to rationalize, explain, and inform.  She understood everything and hated me for it.  She told me I was taking her freedom and taking her control.  I mentioned that it was not me but the Alzheimer's that takes her freedom. That calmed her down -I know that all the advice out there says you should not mention the alz and what it is doing.  In my mother's case, she wants to know what it is doing to her and wants to be made aware of it.  Not all the time mind you, but often.  It was during this time that she told me to **** off and that I was a horrible daughter with no heart and no soul.  That I was evil and mean that I did not love her.  She pulled my hair about three times, hit me in the face, and scratched at me.  I simply told her that she could hit me, hurt, me pull my hair, but she still had to go to bed at a decent time.  She can no longer stay up until three in the morning watching her movies.  That come 10:30, she needs to put her last movie in and take her meds.  When I left, she understood-hated me but understood.  She called me at 12:30 to apologize and realized that she needed to go to bed earlier.  The next day she hated me again and I am sure tomorrow morning she will hate me once more.  But by the afternoon she will be ok.  And guess what, dad had a restful sleep last night...

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