Tuesday, August 2

What words can I type to express my sadness over this...distraught, worried, beside myself, hysterical troubled, worried, upset,flustered, concerned unhappy bothered, anguished tormented, suffered, agnoized tortured grief stricken, sorrowful, angst ridden , heart broken, broken hearted, desolate, despairing, wretched, miserable burdened, pain, hardship, endure, mournful, sad, somber, sorrowful, woeful, doleful,

My heart struggled tonight as I lifted her 83 lb body to the bath tub while she had terror and fear in her eyes and her voice. She quivered as she said why are you doing this to me-after she asked me to bath her so she could hopefully pee in the tub. She has not eaten a full meal since July 20th and her last bite to eat was July 22. She has not had a bowel movement since the 20th and she has not urinated in three days now. She drinks a bit at a time and her breaths per minute are around 21. Her blood pressure is 106/66 with a rate of 116. She has a normal temperature. Her skin is starting to flake, her eyes are vacant glossy and rarely make contact. Her hair is radiant as well as her nails. All movement is jerky and rare. She barely moves. She still wants to maintain conversation but it is difficult as she slurs and can barely move her lips. I am going to miss my mom. I love you mom and wish you did not have to leave us.


vmcpeak said...
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vmcpeak said...

You are so strong to share this with us. I only wish you all the best. It has been many year now that I have not seen you. I'm sure you many not even know who I am. I am Sue's & John's daughter.
I just wanted you to know that Aunt Audrey and all of your family are in are thought and prays.
love always Vanessa, Greg, Emma & Molly

Anonymous said...

Kim, I knew your Mother when we were in high school together. I thought she was a truly beautiful woman then and from your photos of her she still is. My prayers go out to you as you prepare for the loss of your Mother. I had looked for her as I found facebook and reconnection with classmates and really miss having the opportunity to have reconnected with her. I considered her a true friend in school and wish I had known her later in life. As most classmates did we parted and I never saw her again, that deeply saddens me and I grieve for the loss you are experiencing and thank you for having the courage to write your blog so we might know what she became... a loving Mother. God be with you and with Audrey. Dan Perkins

Jessica Williams said... heart goes out to you, how hard it must be too see this happen to such a vibrant, bright woman...This is Jessica I am Sue and John Bermudez's oldest daughter. I have tears flowing reading what you wrote, may God Bless you and your family and give Aunt Audrey A kiss for me...stay strong, take care...all our love from maine...

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